And all that jazz n bollocks.

Forgotten my pass port.  Shit.

Got through with uni ID. Phew.

Wrote a whole new funky song.  Yay.

Got my phone stolen.  Bollocks. :(

Got on the plane with no passport. Way Hay.

I'M HOME!!!  ahhhhhh. :)

I came home for my Dad's big five-oh.  50 already lol.  It was an awesome party, and so much fun to be back amongst the lunacy that is my family!

And today, I get to see friends, play Ronald and drive my lovely Enterprise :D

BOOOOOOM...

I woke up this morning feeling fine then all of a sudden I get the worst tummy ache of my life.  I couldn't sit up straight and I felt like I was gonna puke.  Broke out in sweats and shivers.  I tried to walk down the corridor but my legs were so shaky I wasn't going anywhere!

I'm feeling better now I've eaten and had a nice long shower, but still feeling quite dodgey.  Who knows, if I take the cork out of my arse I might explode.  No need for a pencil then. LOL.  

I've been doing my course work, which has been challenging, but great fun.  We have to write a 2 bar phrase, then make a 2 minute composition using nothing but that phrase, so not much to work with!  But I might actually write another one with the same principles, because I've had so much fun doing it :)

Happy holidays!

YAY! I'm going home tomorrow!  Can't WAIT.

(I'm coming Ronald!!!)

Ham is nice... On a Roll

It really has been a WOW day.

I woke up, after a great night's sleep, feeling wide eyed and fresh - a feeling I've lacked for a long while.  Felt like I've had a new set of eyes again.  I had a nice long shower, ate my breakfast cleaned my teeth at a nice leisurely pace, lying in bed listening to relaxing music for a while, before starting work at about 11ish.  I then got one of my essays done by 2:00, had a nice lunch, then started on my Motif coursework at about 3ish.  I've just got to chop some things up and play around with levels and I'm done!  Awesome.

I'm determined to finish that piece of course work tonight so that it's another load off my shoulders, then I'll probably chill out with a film, or just get another good night's sleep under my belt so I can have another wow day tomorrow lol

Happy WOW day everyone :)

Like. W.O.W.

happy WOW day!

Pencil?

So many things to say, 

So little words to say them with.

THE coolest, bananary T-shirt you will ever see, in your life.

I was in Camden yesterday with Dean and Alex, and I was telling them how cool it would be if I were to find a t shirt that said cool bananas on it.  Lo and behold, a tshirt shop, where you can make your own designs, pops into eye sight!  So I wrote on a piece of paper what I wanted on the front (photobooth like to take backward pictures, sorry, but you get the idea) and WOW i even have a picture of a banana on the back!  And what's more, the writing and banana, GLOWS IN THE DARK!!!  (and is also UV reactive) .  *Ahhh in glee* How totally awesome.  My tshirt has total ownage.  LOL.

Fairy Lights and Snow

Isn't it lovely, when you wake up, forgetting that it was forcast to snow, turning on your Christmas fairy lights then looking out your window to find that it's all white outside :)  Followed by some good news.

Not as much as snow last time, there's barely enough to make a foot print in the ground, but it's incredibly beautiful.

It's now, however, raining, so by the time of my train this afternoon, the snow would have melted and I'll be on my way to Camden market.

Ok, feeling better, a talk to Thomas always cheers me up :)

Ok, sleep, London tomorrow.

Nice thoughts, go away emotions.

Home soon, Ronald is itching for me to play him yay ^^

awsome pie.

Cake tastes good.

All lovely and dandy.

Hmmm

Today I have felt... awkward.  Why am I so fricking emotional lately?  there's no logical explanation.  My head feels like it's been mashed up and words refuse to come out of my mouth.  I couldn't even make a bloody cake properly (and that's the Freddie speciality).

And it's just bloody great having such stupidly sensitive and painful knees.  I hit them about 15 minutes ago and they're still burning and throbbing painfully.

*sigh*.

A ring and ding a ling a ding dong running through my head.  Now it's time for bed.

Ring a ding dong!

Every year, for years, I try and try and try to write a decent Christmas song, and fail, miserably.

So I was on my way to bed, and suddenly this Christmas song just poured out of my brain like there's no tomorrow!  Ok, so no lyrics yet, but hey it is three am.  I'm gonna have a nice long lie in tomorrow looool!   Wow, I'm in such a good mood, must not get hyper... again... this late at night!  Oh well, tis a Friday night after all, I could be wasting my time clubbing :P

YAY!!!!! :D

GRRRRR.

Wow, I've had a hot headed temper today.

Who knows why.  it's not even PMT, no where bloody near.  Things have just really really bugged me today, ever since I stressed out about my stupid score.  (Thank you so much, by the way).  I thought it was good looking enough, but no. I panicked when she said that we weren't allowed flats as accidentals.  I was then convinced that I had a key change that didnt exist because the score became "messy" when I change the flats into sharps. which I know is just stupid because I knew that I hadn't changed key, but I didn't understand and couldn't for the life of me read the music, just because the page now looked messy.  I got there in the end.  Stupid me.  Then someone else pisses me off by saying something stupid.  Then more horrible comments piss me off and I'm really feeling at the end of my tether.  And good job for down stairs guy that he called me a man etc and made fun of my voice yesterday and not today, because he wouldn't have much of a face left if he had turned on me today.  So I'm avoiding him tonight.  Becuase I can literally feel my blood boiling.  Ok, breathe.  I'm gonna go relax in the bath and eat chocolate lol.  And yay! tonight, I'm decorating my house all christmasy, and in true Freddie style, I'm gonna go all out :D  Ok, so now I'm feeling better :)

POST BLOG:

Wow, what a difference some smiles from friends combined with Christmas decorating, dancing and singing with house mates can make!  I'm now feeling all warm and fuzzy and getting the good old Christmas feeling back :)  ahhh, what a great evening

A Small, Hairy Girl.

I woke up early this morning, and had a revelation.

She's gone.

The last time I remember talking about her was when she was standing, looking down under her long brown hair, on the altar.

I can't actually remember the day that she disappeared.  I've literally only just realised, that she's gone.

I wonder who she was.  Perhaps the story was right.  Perhaps she was a past, that no longer matters.  Perhaps, I don't need her anymore.  Goodbye, little girl, sleep tight.  For you have returned to where you belong.

la la la la la la!

Freddie is in such a good mood!

I've just danced round my room to Jack Johnson's "Hope."

And I'm practically laughing my guts up!  yay!

Hahahaha!

Best comment for people who walk in on a conversation at the wrong moment!

Lydia: "... I will lend you mine, and you can see how good it feels..."

Freddie: "HA!"

We were of course talking about Filofaxes and how good it feels to be organised LOL

The last blog is nothing dodgey AT ALL.  

Just something to pass the time and annoy friends during a lecture so  that I could go home and talk to Thomas in what felt like quicker time.

:)

night world, I'm about to land on my face.

Today, my blog is about Alex.

do do do do do do do do (from Harry potter)

ON TOUR

uurgh (sounded like mr. bean)

laugh.

"not everything"

cross legged.

un tangling head phones.

playing with ipod case

TOOL

occasionally leaning forward to look at itunes on macbook.

itchy nose.

macbook goes to sleep, he wakes it up again.

ooh, too loud.

fingers crossed.

not any more.

itchy forehead.

SCROLL to more tool.

ooh, too quiet.

How I love my hair.

Still cross legged, how does he do it?

Phones come out, arms get crossed.

looks over to the blog.  

looks at me, LOL.

again.

POINT.

WTF?!

haha.

searches mac

looks over again

and again

wtf?

He doesnt love his hair.

crossed again.

what?

hehehe.

my neck.

what?

oh god.

what?

hehe.

one leg down (not THAT one)

one hand to face

smile.

crick his neck

clap.

POKE (me, argh)

feet on chair

rings (how i hate them on metal)

what?

tap.

I'm reviewing the situation hands.

and again, but with a beat!

smirk.

crossed arms.

ooh, itchy foot or ass, not quite sure.

FOOT.

neck.

lol.

un tangle himself

stretch.

BARE FOOT!

speak.

seven, dont worry.

I didnt say dont worry.

heh.

headphones.

hitch up.

cross legged and armed again.

roll up sleeves.

grab ipod.

oh, crossed arms at same time as me!

rapour.

wtf, are, you, doing?

hands on legs, tap tap tap.

Woah, this is gonna be a long blog, we're only half an hour in!

cuz im doing everything, lets cut down a bit.

okie pokie

with a beat again! but ooh, different.

breathe.

crossed arms

lick.. hair tastes gooood.

does this make you paraniod?

HAHAHA.

one leg down (not that one!)

crick the neck.

bouncy leg.

tap.

we've got repeats.

CLAP ON YOUR OWN!

screw you 

LOL

up yours sign.

 (how rude : P )

wake up mac

oh no, put to sleep.

leg on table.

brass.

neck.

one leg down, one leg up.

sigh.

play with hair.

yoink.

stretch

me, ok, her.

BREAK TIME.

unrealistic.

really really old.

do the wave!

did it work?

itchy nose

ipod.

leaning on desk.

figit.

nails.

itchy leg

gets up, walks over, ipod in hand.

How epic!

at the front of the class.

TOOL.

more interesting production than music.

oh freddie, you're so naughty.

leaning on hand, listening to his favourite band. (hey that rhymes!)

catches my eyes, little smile. 

looks away.

back to leaning on his hand, listening to his favourite band.

looks over at people who are talking.

glance.

itch.

looking down.

goes into the next track.

explanation.

intimate.

not EQed like normal.

nod.

itchy head.

walks back.

sits back down.

lifts up and wakes up mac.

i pod put down.

shoes back on...

mow kind of off

you're trying to trick me

ha.

crossed legged again!

yummy, hair.

one leg down (no not that one!)

phone time.

to the beat oh yeah.

crossed arms.

lolerskates :P

grime-y

wiggle.

suck on fingers.

hair.

tap on belt.

...

chewing on fingers. (nails) ra ra ra!

yum!

lies on desk, loses will to live :P

POKE.  no effect god damn it.

goes to poke me, I can feel it already looooool

ARGH

arse wipe.

he got me!

I dance, he taps.

la la la . (that was me)

BEAT

head nod 

heh!

chew on nails. tut tut.

poke again.... squirm!

you're enjoying this way to much 

JUMP

I'm gonna turn off now, as battery is loooow.

any last words, Alex?

naa.

what fun! ^^

POKE!

This Woman's Work.

A beautiful song, that popped up again recently, when I couldn't sleep.  And it's just come on my itunes random.  So many songs have come up today.  So many different meanings, journeys and feelings.

 

This song is probably one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.  And it means a fair bit to me too in many ways.  The way she sings it is just, perfect.  The emotion in her voice, the sound of the piano, gives me shivers... and the words, are just so very powerful.

I highly recommend you listen to it, in the dark, when you're in one of those deep thought moods.

Pray God you can cope. 
I stand outside this woman's work, 
This woman's world. 
Ooh, it's hard on the man, 
Now his part is over. 
Now starts the craft of the father. 

I know you have a little life in you yet. 
I know you have a lot of strength left. 
I know you have a little life in you yet. 
I know you have a lot of strength left. 

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. 
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking 

Of all the things I should've said, 
That I never said. 
All the things we should've done, 
That we never did. 
All the things I should've given, 
But I didn't. 

Oh, darling, make it go, 
Make it go away. 

Give me these moments back. 
Give them back to me. 
Give me that little kiss. 
Give me your hand. 

(I know you have a little life in you yet. 
I know you have a lot of strength left. 
I know you have a little life in you yet. 
I know you have a lot of strength left.) 

I should be crying, but I just can't let it show. 
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking 

Of all the things we should've said, 
That were never said. 
All the things we should've done, 
That we never did. 
All the things that you needed from me. 
All the things that you wanted for me. 
All the things that I should've given, 
But I didn't. 

Oh, darling, make it go away. 
Just make it go away now.

Let Me Live!

OMG!!  I LOVE itunes random!!  Queen fever is most certainly making a come back.  The yellow jacket is everywhere in my room now and I keep on listening to Queen songs I had completely forgotten about, and how much I love them!  Like Let Me Live, probably one of my favourite songs of all time, had just come on random, and it just made me smile so so so so so so much!! :D  And all my love for Queen just comes flooding back, and I get incredibly excited lol... yayyy!!!! I remember all the words and everything about the songs and it just makes me feel like my obsession never stopped!

I LOVE QUEEN!!!

(helen rolls her eyes!)

Just everything about the song I love, Gospel choir, Freddie's amazingly powerful and addictive voice, Roger and Brian singing too.  It's crazy to think they wrote this song after Freddie's death, out of a few vocal demos that he left behind.  That's another thing I love about music, it really does let you live on in minds and hearts, forever.  Oh yeah.  Moustache fever, darling!

Why dont you take another little piece of my heart
Why dont you take it and break it
And tear it all apart
All I do is give
All you do is take
Baby why dont you give me
A brand new start

So let me live (so let me live)
Let me live (leave me alone)
Let me live, oh baby
And make a brand new start

Why dont you take another little piece of my soul
Why dont you shape it and shake it till youre really in control
All you do is take
And all I do is give
All that Im askin
Is a chance to live

(so let me live) - so let me live
(leave me alone) - let me live, let me live
Why dont you let me make a brand new start

And its a long hard struggle
But you can always depend on me
And if youre ever in trouble - hey
You know where I will be

Why dont you take another little piece of my life
Why dont you twist it, and turn it
And cut it like a knife
All I do is live
All I do is die
Why cant we just be friends
Stop livin a lie

So let me live (so let me live)
Let me live (leave me alone)
Please let me live
(why dont you live a little)
Oh yeah baby
(why dont you give a little love...? )

Let me live
Please let me live
Oh yeah baby, let me live
And make a brand new start

Take another little piece of my heart now baby
Take another little piece of my heart now baby
Take another little piece of my soul now baby
Take another little piece of my life now baby

In your heart, oh baby

(take another piece, take another piece)
Please let me live
(take another piece, take another piece)
Why dont you take another piece
Take another little piece of my heart

Oh yeah baby
Make a brand new start
All you do is take
Let me live

chugga chugga chugga

Woooaaah!  What's with me lately?

Uni life seems to be turning me into quite a normal teenager!  or perhaps it's my body making the most of the fact that I've only got one year left of calling myself one.

Most of you will be proud to know, that I, Freddie, early bird of the century, woke up naturally at 11 am.  I NEVER used to do that, unless I was seriously ill lol.

Ok, so I didn't get to sleep till about 3 ish (I just couldn't bloody well sleep again, work and lively music going round and round my head)

I swear, my sleep-ometre is degrading as I get older.  How odd to think that I used to wake up at the time I'm now falling asleep, to go swimming of all things.  It then took me no time at all to get used to lying in till 6:30 am, ready for school!  And now, I'm struggling to get up at 8:00!!

What the hell is happening to me!!??  lol  (Marina, welcome back to blog world!)

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I haven't been myself today at all.  I found it hard to get up, I've found it hard to move, I've found it hard to eat, I've found it hard to smile and laugh and I've found it hard to think.

I wrote some lyric ideas for an absolutely pumping awesome track this morning, dancing round my room whilst singing, but then after that, I went straight back into the walking dead mode.  I don't know why.  My head and neck are aching and old dick head from down stairs is starting to piss me off even more and it's getting me down.  Endless company of just boys is starting to get to me too.  They're not like good ol' Jersey boys either.  Same horrible phrases and jokes day in day out.  Talking about nothing but video games and sex all bloody day.  I really need some friendly team marmite girl company right now, but I don't have any.  I can't wait till my sleep over at home.  40 / 40 in the dark, girlie talks and catch ups, films and in jokes with the best buddies in the world.

*sigh*  right, well I'm now off to bed with death metal in my ears (from down stairs, dan is on guitar hero and it's so fucking loud I can hear the music as if it were being played at a decent level in my room.  I think I'm gonna go ask him to turn it down a bit.)  Wow, Victoria, you're so boring, it's only eleven o'clock.  urgh.  listen to me moan.  right, cheer up Charlie, it aint that bad.  At least my head is nice and quiet.  Just home is where your piano is and stars revolving nicely round.  And I think it's high time I went for a bike ride.

Night night bloggers, see you in a better tomorrow. 

I LOVE MUSIC!!!! (amen!)

You know, I find it fascinating how differently  people can hear / interpret one piece of music.  Yesterday, I composed a random piece in about an hour, and I don't think it sounds like what I normally write, yet it still is very much in my style of writing.  I showed it to quite a few people, as we have a lecture in the evening where we have to show what we're currently working on.

One person said it was a cross between me and the black eyed peas, and needs a rap...

One person said it very much reminded him of Elfman's more orchestral Oingo Boingo days...

One person said I needed dark lyrics, as it portrayed a sense of dark destiny...

One person said it sounds perfect for a film or epic video game...

And another person said it should be turned into the next Christmas single no.1, with a haunting Christmas choir singing the lyrics...!

Amazing!  There were more interpretations, but I just find it so amazing how music can do that, and how it represents something completely different to different people. :)

TTFN, Tits and Testicles For Now

Yo yo, yo, 

All my bitches and hoes

Y'all not wearin any clothes...

There aint no better way

When your top half's fun

And your bottom half is gay...

I'm Miss Hermaphrodi-tee-hee

(yo, yo yo, tits and testicles you'll see)

Yes, Miss Hermaphrodi-tee-hee

(oh yeah, havin both is bein free, yo)

hi hi fly by bye bye

*sigh* so helen went home today... we swore to each other as the bus drove her away, and I was left with a huge grin for hours after that.  I will feel a little lonely tonight without her to talk to or rescue the most gigantic spider ever from my room.  (well, she saved it from the perils of the beneath of my shoe, but hey ho).. but i do not have that horrible empty feeling, as I shall be seeing all my mateys again in 5 weeks.  what a great week end it has been :)

Vanity Fair?

What's the big ho0O-har about vanity?

Everyone I've met cares at least a little about how they look, and almost everyone I've met have taken at least one of those posey pictures in which you secretly think you look good, but would never show any one or tell anyone that you think that.  And I've never net anyone who said they hated being called pretty or good looking or handsome or "hot".. haha.  What's so bad about feeling good about yourself, and why are we made to feel bad for doing so?

Just a random thought as I was taking a posey picture of myself when I got bored. lol.

Hells Bells! what a day!

woke up pretty early and started on a Christmas song, for some strange reason!

took us till about one to decide that I was going to show Helen round campus, and then all of a sudden i was like, dya wanna go to London?  so by two we were in king's cross, gaping mouths at st. Pancras and into the dreaded tubes.. urgh.

we survived and went shopping all down Oxford street, I got a winter jumper that is very "me" and Helen got a green jumper dress that is very "her".  lol.  selfriges had the most beautiful and awesome Christmas displays in their windows with the slogan, the more the merrier.  It truly felt like Christmas is coming, and it got me all excited, even Helen admitted to it feeling like Christmas!!  but then got angry that it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside :P

We are now going to chill out after a rather hefty day, and watch some films...

Oooh, any one fancy coming down to London for a few days to watch Edward Scissorhands.. the musical?!?!  like OMFG, we have GOT to go!!!  how awesome would that be, to hear Ice dance being played live by a proper professional orchestra?!

yay!  I'm excited again!  good night blog world :) And a very merry Christmas, from the Christmas Girl x

(pictures on the way, they wont upload atm!)

Oh, welcome to the delights of Hatfield!

yayyyy!!!   I actually cant wait till tomorrow!! Hells Bells shall beith ariving in doth Hertfordshire for the weekend!! :D :D

Yay!

Rainin' On The Rooftops.

A bad day that's better than my good old days... thank you.

I thought it was about time I wrote a song about the rain...

I don't know what it is, but I just love it.  Love it.  It cools, clenses, it sounds manificent and has a beauty all of its own.  It makes me pour out my soul and just feel like nothing else, the best feeling in the world.  It's like the true, inner me, is allowed to come out and play and dance and sing.  And music just seems to sound so much better in the rain.

On a completely different note: the funniest and strangest question I got asked by a guy today:  "Can girls tell when you've come on you period?"  LOOOOOL!!!

Pop, shh, da ka fa, do dah boooom!

I've just been set an awesome piece of coursework.

I have to record ten seconds worth of sounds made from only my mouth and throat.

I then have to put them into a sampler, assign them to keys and create a one minute long composition, mucking around with time and space, stretching, manipulating and filtering.

yay! What fun!  =^-^=  (har har!  all you losers are doing essays on Hitler and shiz and reading your souls away!  hahahah! :D   )

ARGH!!!

Who would have thought, that writing for a single, solo instrument, would be

SO FRICKEN DIFFICULT!!!!   

*mumble grumble bloody violin bloody grumble grrr...*

I AM IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD!!! 

Umm... Who Am I Again? I'm Christmas Girl!

I was swimming in the campus pool this afternoon, and there was a point where I pushed off the wall underwater on my back, to look up and see the blur of orange lights that made up the results board.  It looks like an exact but smaller version of the one at Sheffield.

It was very short and sudden, but for a few seconds, I was convinced I was in the battle to win the 400m IM in the National finals back at Sheffield pool.  Paul on the side shouting me on, chewing his tongue and rustling his moustache, the adrenalin rushing, heart pumping, chest constricting, the pain, the dia agony, the cheers and screams of encouragement, the WANT.  Suddenly, I was no longer a musician or composer, but a swimmer, wanting nothing more than to get to those Olympics, not wanting to do anything else, but swim.  Forever.  You know how they say, that just before a moment of death, or danger, you see your life flash before your eyes?  Well, mine kinda did.  But I'm still alive, and wasn't in any danger.  Which has really discombobulated me. 

It took me about an hour on the walk back to my house, to get my mind straight again.  I was Victoria, Sugar, Plum, the swimmer.  The swimmer.  It sort of wondered off, even as I bleared Ice dance, Standin' in the Rain and Rain, rain, rain... into my ears, with the rain hammering down on me.  I got home, milk in hand and soaked.  But then the sudden realization that it was indeed November, and the rain poured down even harder as I thought this.  I legged it outside, with November Rain in my ears.  I ran into the middle of the field, with nothing but pyjamas and boots on.  I just totally didn't care.  Covered in mud, running, sliding around, tripping, falling, crying, rain poured down my face.  I remember a blog I wrote like this last year, but I was hanging out my window with not just Axl Rose in my ears.

Its strange.  Having a flash back like that, has convinced me even more, that I would never go back to swimming for anything, as it would mean giving up music.  I will always be a swimmer at heart, and it was Paul, after all, who taught me that if I want something badly enough, I'll get it.  And having someone like Paul, who will pick me up and give me a huge hug and kiss, call me Kiddo as he smiles, whilst twirling his moustache and welcomes me into his home, is worth everything to me.  Even though I do not swim, I will always be his swimmer.  His student. The one who wants it.  Badly.  So broken knees may have got in the way, but broken knees left me with nothing to do, when I really badly needed something to do.  And there was music, my life.  I am a composer.  Always have been in my head.  And always will be.

la, la la la laaaaa.

I wonder what makes beauty? 

If you create something beautiful, how can you tell it is?

Why do people love beauty?

For me, Ice dance was the first beautiful piece of music I heard and it's stuck to my mind forever. (or so I can remember).

I've just written a choir piece, in which I have sung every part in (83 of me at one time!).  It started off as a single cello line, and just developed out of no where into a choir piece, it just kinda wrote itself.  I've always wanted to write a choir piece.  It is the same chord throughout, for 5 minutes it does not change, and it's just me humming, singing ahhs and oohs and laas and thats about it.  So is it still interesting?  What makes me love choirs?  Why do I think they sound so beautiful?

I wonder, if, for the first time, I was to write something that others might call beautiful, how I would feel.  I've always wanted to write something beautiful.  Is this piece my first composition of beauty?  Or is it just a pile of boring crap?  But hmm... I wonder...