AY SANKA! Ya dead? - Ya Man.

It has been an interesting week.  Not much has yet happened, but then lots has happened too. I've written two tracks this week, both of which are styles i've never written in before.

An attempt at reggae and an even worse attempt at dance.  Heh, who'd have thought eh?

It's always great to know that friends are happy, having great days and great fun within them, so that has made me smile tonight.

So I now bounce to bed in an off beat fashion as I now have reggae swinging back and forth my head lol :)

Night y'all, sleep well and be happy

Wilbur's Homecoming

Tonight I am a little overwhelmed and tired,  and I just want to be at home.  All I want is a hug and I have no one to give me one as everyone has gone out drinking.  I wish I could hug all my friends right now too.  All of you.  Here's a virtual 

*HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG*

from Freddie.  God I miss you guys.  Friends and family.

Right now, I'm going to try to chill out and watch Charlotte's Web that I bought from ASDA today for 3 pounds instead of buying biscuits and such likes.

Even though the pink digestive do look very temping.

I've never seen it before, but the music is one of the most beautiful soundtracks I've ever heard, and I pay more attention to the music than anything else in a film.

Good night world, sleep well, and remember, don't worry, be happy. 

I have not put a title to this blog, as there is no word that could possibly justify the beauty of the music I have just heard.  And it was just a glimpse of a listen...

I've just been watching the trailer for 

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button.  

I remember the exact moment that this film grabbed my attention.  We were waiting in the lobby at Cineworld back at home, me, tori, marina, when this music.. caught my ever listening ear..

The music, of such beauty that has an air of Elfman in it... stuck in my brain cells like some ominous drug... only now have I looked up who the composer is.  

French.. funny that.. Alexandre Desplat.  He also composed for films such as the golden compass and Casanova.  But, if the sound track and revealed plot shown in the adverts are anything to go by, this is going to be a great film.  

Meet half way to watch it guys?

Sleep well, stars and dreams, smiles and hopes, love and care.  Believe, relax and live.  The best advice in the world.  

Follow it.

Wisdom Or Bollocks?

I've currently got two wisdom teeth pushing and shoving their way through my gums.

Why does turning into a wise person have to be so bloody painful?!

Music, Maths and Orgasms

Well, I honestly never thought I would have a lecture in which all three topics were the main subjects.  

Classical music drawn out on mathematical graphs?!  Who ever thought of such a thing!

The lecture was made ten times funnier by the fact that our lecturer has a big bushy beard and the softest voice e.v.e.r. that could lull even the burliest human being to sleep just by talking.  When he sings what was originally a horrible scratchy tune, he'll make it sound like the angels of heaven are singing it. LOL.  So when he was talking about climaxing melodies in music, and then going onto talk about orgasms for a good 15 minutes, he sat there and giggled to him self, which in turn made me and my friends absolutely piss ourselves when he shouted "He's coming!  He's coming!"... whilst a magnificent piece of classical orchestral music was being played as an example

Listen to Der Rosenkavalier by Richard Strauss and see if you can spot the orgasming couple in the flutes and brass...

I love you really :3

ANY OLD CRAP!!! :D

Tonight I was sent three tracks that I wrote or performed for my GCSE music course.

When I heard them I absolutely pissed myself.  A remake of phantom of the opera and generic ideas ran though my compositions.  I wonder when the point was that I truly started to hear that orchestra that is so deeply imbedded into my brain cells?  I listen to those compositions and smile very, very broadly, as I can clearly hear how much my compositional ideas have improved.  Now filled with feelings and emotions and stories and tales of wondrous worlds.  I thank the heavens for the teacher who taught it all to me.  Music is my very life and soul.  I couldn't imagine not composing.  And I know as I sit here and listen, that I'm definitely doing the right course.  Music.  Music.  Ah, music.  Where would I be without it?  

On a different note, when I was out for my run, the flood lights that fill the field suddenly switched off, and to my amazement, the stars turned up.  Even as the orange glow from the lights of London took over the skies, I looked up, and saw the plough, the belt and the big M in the sky, closed my eyes, and imagined myself at that special place where the milky way rushes over your head and shooting stars fly silently by.  I breathed in the cold air and just smiled. 

Don't Worry, Be Happy.

I HAVE SYMPHONIC CHOIRS!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

yaaaaaaaaaaay!!

Don't worry, be happy, sleep away in pleasant dreams, and hit tomorrow's adventures with light in your eyes and air under your feet (and up your nose, tis very refreshing)... and don't forget to dance and laugh hysterically (but not enough to freak too many people out) haha

:)

Hypercontriactivity

I was just putting my rubbish in the bin down stairs earlier today, when I was thinking to myself how disgusting the bin smelt, of rotting food and smoking cigarette ends, when I lifted my head back up and cracked it on the corner of the cupboard...I saw the stars... and now I've got a painful lump just on my hair line.  LOL.

But what a great day.  I think I've just finished writing possibly my best composition yet.  4 minutes of ideas added to the track infamously known as "idea4 la la la" in one afternoon.  Still lots of work to do on it, but it's finally got all the ideas down, which is the main thing.  Got some great news through today too, which ended in me bursting into a room dancing and singing haha.  Today I had my performance, which included me none stop laughing my gutts up.  It was probably the first time I felt I could be totally myself with my friends, which was awesome.  I danced like a loon to other performances that were going on too with Felix, Alex and Dean, which the lecturers seemed to find amusing!  

I go to sleep happy, screw my run tonight, as composing was more important hehe :)

May you all be happy, rested and well, and if not, "call me, I make you happy"  ;)

In My Ears

I've been composing for the last hour and have come up with an extra 2 minutes to a piece I started composing ages ago.  I had such brain block with that song it was so frustrating, so it was nice to be able to finally come up with something to continue the song.  Only problem is, I've started to build it up again, which is probably a bad thing... but then maybe this song will end on a high, energetic and dramatic ending.  Who knows.  That's the beauty of composing.  As much as I hear it in my head, I never know where it's gonna go or how its gonna turn out, what new ideas I will come up with on the way and how the final piece is going to turn out.

Art?

It was suggested to me to go and look in the vastly sized LRC of my university, for art books, filled with could be inspiration... musically, and it would seem, artistically.

I haven't drawn or painted in absolute ages.  But I saw some pictures today, by a lady called Sally Mann.  And they were beautiful.  In an odd sort of way.  So I looked up some pictures of hers on the net and picked up the closest pen, and started sketching.  

My drawings were messy, looking more like cartoons than people and out of proportion, but hopefully some practice will get me back into drawing shape.  I had forgotten how much I miss doing art, and how I love to scribble and doodle.

Mr. Blu

YOU BETTER LEAVE COMMENTS!!

She's gone.

Dance With Me

I got a text from Claire saying she was at my uni, so Marina and I went over to meet her, which was really surreal for me, to have two of my friends from Jersey in Hertfordshire... but awesome none the less!   We then went house hunting once more, had some potential good news, and we'll get more information on monday!  

The evening, was the best part to yesterday however...  Marina, Alex and I, made our way into central London to go and watch Edward Scossirhands on stage!  Ah man, The first piece of music they played was Danny Elfman's Story Time, and I just shivers all the way down my spine.  There's just something about listening to music live that gives it that something else.  Such beauty.  I just wish some others were there next to us to listen to it.  Most of the music was taken from the original film score, but a lot of it was also composed but some one else, in a jazz style mainly.  It gave the story a new light, and worked well with the adaptation of the story.

My favourite scenes were the ending of the first half, where Edward's artistic hedges came to life, and the ballet and Elfman's music, were just perfect.  The other one with out saying was the scene called Ice Dance... favourite in the film, favourite in the stage show.

The end was also spectacular, the music was Elfman's "The grand Finale", the ballet was beautiful and it even snowed on the audience...  perfect.

Now the music is swirling round my head and I can't help but smile.  It really is the best sound track ever composed, in my opinion.  It really is.

Welcome Back.

My dreams are back.

It's been so long sinse I've had a normal sleeping dream, I'm glad they've decided to make a return.  Maybe they took a vacation and the flight got delayed on the way back.  As weird as they were last night, my imagination didnt seem to want to stop working.  

I can't remember them as whole dreams... I just know there were a thousand dreams rolled into one and I woke up remembering how weird they were, with vivid pictures of what was going on, if that makes sense...  I remember me stadning at the botom of a staircase that lead up into the clouds, looking at it for a while, then as I took the first step, everything would melt... friends kept popping in and out of the picture, but in odd places that made no sense... like my friends, who aren't friends with each other, popping up on a beach that I've been to in Austrailia, looking at me then melting away again.  Then I would be back at a scene that had a bridge or staircase or something, looking at it by myself for a while, then melting away.  How odd.  

Marina is still sleeping... She'll probably still be sleeping by the time we have to go look at houses.  Ahh.  A nice early night for Marina last night, and a bloody late one for me, seeing as we got to sleep at about 4 am lol.  Funny how we're both so completely different, yet fit together so well.  It's just so good to have her here... no alcohol what so ever last night and we were still comeplete and utter loonies, that I think a few of my friends were pretty shocked by :P 

But yes... I'm gonna go get in the shower, eat break fast, come back and carry on composing and do the wonderful job of waking her up at about half 12 haha.

Ps. everything is resplendent :)

  

FUCK.SAKE.

Thank god Marina is arriving soon.

I've broken people's hearts, disappointed others, had to give bad news to friends... it seems most of my friends are either unhappy, or angry, or upset and I'm finding it hard to pick myself up right now.  But I will.  Come on Fred, everything is great in the big picture.  Lets every one now smile, even if it hurts your muscles to do so.  It might just make you feel that little bit better, and people around you too, even if you're already on top of the world.  

Hopefully tomorrow will bring good news.

I wish I could be in more than one place tonight.. so I could give every one of my friends a hug, and for those who need it more, an even tighter squeeze that tells them I'm always there.

The arrival of Marina will give me a little bit of crazy that I miss so much.  Be myself for the time she's here.  Show my uni friends what I'm really like in my raw sense.  :)

More.

After a hectic day of sorting out living arrangements, looking round houses, and trekking round Hatfield, I'm feeling pretty sleepy.  Aching with painful crunchy knees and a sore back, I'm back to feeling like a 90 year old lol

Yet I'm feeling pretty relaxed right now, I'm so glad everything is now sorted in one way or another... and hopefully it will all work out the way I wish it will... I can only hope. At least its one less thing off my shoulders. 

I'm currently listening to my favourite song, finishing up what I've been doing and heading to bed.

Marina will show up tomorrow at half 5... man, I cant wait.

An exam we weren't told about till today, rehearsals, assessments and sorting out deposits for the house tomorrow.  So I will be a pretty busy bee, which hopefully means that the time it takes for Marina to get here will go that little bit faster. :3

Part Two...

What the heck... here's the second part early!

FINALY!!! Part One....

Satan's Satanic Sack...

What a day... from the pits to the skies.

I've just finished talking to Felix and Alex about next year housing, the other Alex is in too... and they all agree on a spare room depending on rent and what we can find, so good news to finish the day off.

oh, and

Screw You Time And Space! 

For I Am The Pirate Queen And The Realm Of Dreams Is Mine To Command!!!

The Good Bad Balance Is A Load Of Bollards, And The Darkness Is Just The Sun Giving The Moon And Stars A Chance To Shine...

:)

Buttonz, you make me smile

Sleep well world, Freddie loves you all, very much.

Traa Laaaa... video should be up tomorrow guys, tis processing as we speak :)

no video :(

I have tried ALL DAY to export and upload the first part to Buttonz Day out and it keeps getting to the final stage of adding information and processing and after waiting for 2 hours for it to load up, it says it's FAILED.

Urgh.

Time for me to head to bed.. eye balls are scratching to get out of their sockets once more.

I can only make out one star tonight, but one is enough to make me smile.

Good night world

One Happy Bunny

Today was odd.

Nightmares, Dreams, Sleep, Hysterical laughing, Songs, Music, Smiles...

My speakers arrived today too, so I'm one happy bunny... I played Ice Dance first, followed by live Live at Wembley Bohemian Rhapsody, followed by Stars... and other tracks.

Ahhh, it's so great not to have to wear headphones for a decent sound.

I'm one tired Freddie too... nice thought and a chill out methinks.

Sorry dudes, but video will be up asap.  Just not tonight!

What an AWESOME evening!

(ps. sorry guys, but video will be up tomorrow instead of tonight!

Your favourite day of the week shall be monday!)

Check out my new Myspace look that Thomas constructed, and please watch my video, get your friends and thier friends and all thier friends too to watch it pleeeaaasseee!!

www.myspace.com/howtotattooabat

The Call

Tori just sent me this song, from the Narnia soundtrack... The Call by Regina Spektor...

The orchestration, the chords that sound like hope, the way the vocal lines weave inbetween the lead vocals, such nice lyrics... made me smile...

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too 
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

Good Night

I'm still numb.  

I'm still overwhelmed.

So many thoughts, so much music, so many emotions.

I stood in the silence and the freezing cold and just, sort of stared, for a long while.  Comforting cold, I didn't shiver at all... and even though the moon shone brightly, the stars did too, not a cloud in sight... couldn't miss it for the world.

Back to dull grey Hatfield on Saturday, bright and early, with all the light pollution and noise from the M1.  I will miss the stars, very much. 

What a holiday it has been... one of beauty, time with family, friends... still so much to say.

Perhaps it's time I were a little braver.

Time.

Looky Looky!

Yay!  ^^

Next week, I shall be sitting next to Marina in the London West End, watching Edward Scissorhands on stage!  

Lolerskates

I look like Rudolph.  

But I'm happy.  Very happy.

 

:)

Ouch.

So it's gotten too cold and the metal inside my head has shrunk and is now giving me the head ache from hell and to be honest I just want to sleep.  

Back at school today, giving talks about uni life to year 13 students.  And being back there again was just so great.  

So great.

A preee-view...

My Five, High Five

It really is a challenge haha.. sorry guys :P

well, here's what my top 5 is at the moment.  No particular order, because each gives me different feelings inspirations etc.. depending on the setting, time, mood I'm in...

• Wilbur's Homecoming - Danny Elfman, all the darkness, quirks and beauty of a Danny Elfman piece, all encompassed into 9 minutes of absolute, beautiful music.

• Vide Cor Meum - Hans Zimmer, ironic that it should be taken from the Hannibal soundtrack, but this really is one of the most beautiful pieces of music I've ever heard.  Choirs, reverb... it makes me feel lost, within myself.  Not in a bad way, just.. a strange sort of freedom I guess.  This piece gives me such inspiration.

• Real Time - Gwailo, gives me shivers every time I listen.  I just have to close my eyes, either out side or in, normally at night time.  I can't describe how this song makes me feel, again a strange sort of freedom, an overwhelming sense of inner peace and calm.  Such a beautiful voice.  The sax solo always seems to swirl around my head, and is one of the most beautiful solos I've ever heard.

• The Show Must Go On, (both Queen and Moulin Rouge versions) - Queen.  The orchestration, the theatrical, operatic voices, the choir, the power, the emotion, the feeling, the ending.  Shivers, every time.  "Inside my heart is breaking, my make up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on".  The way she sings those words in the film.  The darkness.  The song and words of a previous life.  Freddie's beautiful, powerful voice, the words, the tragedy behind the showman's smile.  The most perfect lyrics.  

• Adrift - Jack Johnson, a really pretty, relaxing song with such, beautiful, words. 

I haven't mentioned a few of my absolute favourite songs... these just seem to be the ones that say what I feel over all...  I haven't mentioned November Rain, and you all know how much that song means to me. Or my favourite song, Stars.  Nor have I mentioned Ice Dance, or many other Danny Elfman pieces, that I just fall into.  So many Queen songs, so many one notes sung by that voice, that makes me feel raw emotion and comfort.  So many classical pieces, so many film pieces, by so many different composers.

Sweet, Sweet Music

On the way home from film night, I suddenly stopped the car, parked up and got out.  I stood on the bank, and just looked, breathed for a while.  A massive shooting star flew over me.  It was so bright and clear, with a beautiful long tail that stretched across the sky, it seemed to be just two inches away from my head.  

I smiled.  

Maybe I have seen a shooting star before... perhaps I just didn't have my eyes open wide enough.

ouch!

Woah!  my fingers ache like hell and my thumbs are bleeding..

I've just been practicing simple jazz piano for the past hour or so, and man is it hard work!  I watch and listen in awe to those who can actually play awesome jazz...  I'm currently programming in the 12 bar blues into my mac so I can go and play some improvisation stuff, and attempt to play slowly and get two hands going...  it's so awesome and so much fun! yay! 

^^  happy face!

Stars...

wow... how'd that happen?

One minute the stars are covered by a thick layer of stubborn looking cloud, next, they're shining bright and I'm hanging out my window like good old times.

People find it strange that I prefer the winter.  But I guess I'm a winter baby because I find the cold comforting.  Hanging out my widow, stretching so I'm bent backwards out the window on my tiptoes to get a descent look at the stars, clutching onto the ledge with sweaty palms, with the cold wind wrapping itself around my skin, makes me feel the raw taste of freedom.  To me, that's what freedom tastes, smells, feels like... and there's so much music around, if only you listen to the wind singing with the trees, and the last brave robin.

*lovelysigh* :)

Well Gimme A Fork... (in the road) (!)

I've just driven home in my old banger of a car that i love dearly, from a really great day spent with Thomas.  On my way home, I decided to take a road I'm sure I've never been down.  I don't know why... just did.  The sound of choirs whirled around the dark car, and I drove down this tiny road in the country.  And then another, and another.  But each road I took, it some how brought me out onto a road that was easily familiar, roads which I knew well, because friends lived there.  One road took me right in front of Paul's house, one outside Dave's one near Marina's...  

And that got me thinking, smiling, at the fact that it's true in life.  No matter which path you decide to take, how lost you get, how dark things may seem, what descisions you make... in the end, it is your true friends who will always be there, even if you can't see them.  

So, yeah, it might sound cushy or what ever, but hey, it made me smile.

There are so many thoughts, so much music, swishing and slopping round my brain at the moment, I wanted to write about some of them in this blog.. but it's proving quite impossible.  So instead, I shall go to bed, as I'm really very very tired, and dream, as I should dream... oscars here we come, riding in on a small, shetland pony, swords and rum in hand, dressed like pirates and stealing the show :)

Le Adam And Le Ants

People keep asking me if I went as Britney Spears to my Aunty's NYE party...  The answer is, I was till about 30 mins before we had t be there lol.  I was ready and everything and decided it wasn't good enough and a boring outfit.  So instead, I decided to go as my Aunty's favourite singer, as the theme was rock and pop stars.  So I went as Adam Ant  (most of you will now guess that that's why my cousin is called Adam :P lol)   Here's a few pictures:  one of them is with me and my aunt who hosted, she's dressed as Amy Winehouse, and I spent about an hour painting the tattoos on her two arms and chest with liquid eye liner just before the party lol.  The other one is of my crazy aunt who also came as Adam Ant, yo ho ho! 

ALSO!

Did you know, that 2008 was the first year of my life in which I didn't have to go through at least one operation?  A year in which I've had no big injuries, only one broken wrist, that's all.  A year in which I can actually breathe through my nose and smell things for how good they are, instead of relying on my taste buds.  A year in which I can see people how they really are, see all the beauty in the world, paint and draw without having to wipe away the stains... A year in which I can hear things properly, and listen, just... listen. 

just... wow.

Friends... (a blog I wrote last night)

I wrote a really long blog yesterday morning.. one that reflected on all the things 2008 have laid to rest in my mind, heart, soul. It got me emotional, but in a good way, and turned out to be an incredibly personal piece of writing.

I then spent the afternoon in the company of great friends.

And that, is what this year has taught me, if anything.
Friends, are everything. Without them, what would we do?
This year for me, has seen some of the lowest of lows, but also the highest of highs. Friends have made those highs, given me all those great, great memories, that now fill my head and replace old ones that no longer infest my brain as they once did. They've picked me up, helped me more than I ever thought possible and made miracles happen, not just to me, but to many around them. And that is worth everything. And I just hope and pray, that they all know that I would do anything for each one of them, will be there for each one of them, no matter how big, small... the matter is.

And so my new year's resolution, is to sing more, laugh more, smile more, and try to show my friends and family just how much they mean to me, if they don't know it already.

So it's early morning, I'm in my cousins bed and can't sleep. But my mind is at rest, and although the stars are covered by cloud, I know they still shine brightly above. And I make a wish, for each one of you, that mean the world to me. Happy new year, and thank you...

May the best times of last year, be the worst of this year. May all your dreams and hopes come true. And may you all smile, laugh and be mad. :)

Much love, Freddie, Victoria, Vic, Toz Woz, Sugar... etc (lol) xxx