Swings and Round-a-bouts

Sometimes I look back and see how far I've come from even a couple of months ago.  Although I know I still have a long long way to go, part of me looks back in amazement.  New hair, brighter make up, braver fashion, new confidence in saying simple things like "no" and making up my own decisions is like a mile stone for me.  "no" has always been such a hard word for me.  Simple as it is.  And now my left wrist is complete with a Biscuity tattoo, that makes me happy and smile.  With what seems like new eyes sometimes, I look around me and see the greatest friends a girl could possibly get.. all the help I've had from the small things like "love you more" or "hello Buttonz :)" have helped me in so many ways I couldn't even begin to describe.  

So I wonder, if I was to get the "old" me, and show that me the me that I am now, I don't think I would have believed what my eyes were telling me.  I wonder what's to come... wanna come play? :)

Good Riddance.

A whole night of nightmares and bad dreams, continuous wake ups in cold sweats and shakes.

But at least I woke up in the morning to find there's one less of them in the world.

 

Sunset, Giggles and a Gloworm

Shivers

Will You Still Love Me, In The Morning?

Did you know that today is supposed to be the happiest day of the year?

My head is filled with so many thoughts that don't even make sense to me.  Kinda like a pot ready for lucky dip, with half and quarter words on tiny bits of paper that you have to tie together.  It's not a bad thing.  It happens every so often that so many ideas and thoughts and fragments of music fill my mind that my head seems to go into overload and shouts STOP!  *breathy sigh* :)

I've been watching some more pushing daisies.  The best program on TV that really struck a chord with me.  A bit like the film Juno.  Don't know why they work so well with my brain, they just do.

One song has been circling my head ever since Marina put it on to play the moment she stepped back into her rightful place in the front seat of the enterprise.  Here are the lyrics the I hum to myself as I close my eyes to sleep, with a sleepy smile on my freckled face.

Something inside the cards

I know is right

Dont want to live

Somebody elses life

This is what I want to be

And this is what I give to you

Because I get it free

She smiles while I do my time

I could die for you

Oh this life I choose

Im here to be your only go-between

To tell you of the sights

These eyes have seen

What I really want to do is

Turn it into motion

Beauty that I cant abuse

You know that Id use my senses to

You can see that

Its only everywhere

Id take it all and then

Id find a way to share

Come along and go

Along with me

Wander with me yo

Its all for free

I could die for you

What you wanna do

Oh this life I choose

Come again and tell me

Where you want to go

What it means for me

To be with you alone

Close the door and

No one has to know

How we are

Come along and go

Along with me

Wander with me yo

Its all for free

I could die for you

What you want to do

Oh this life I choose

Mr. Blu-Bell :)

You.

Sorry guys, no video today, my internet has been gay all week and running sllooooowww.  I'll get it up (the video that is) asap :)  peace out suckers!! xx

Alive

What a great day

Started off in the studio, adding things to a rock track and chatting.  I then had to rush home to pick up my cousins who are staying over at my house tonight.  I took the two boys, Jack and Ryan plus my other cousins Sam and Luc to Gorey for a twirly whirly ice cream, the best in Jersey.  We walked on the beach for a while, until we found a small park with swings and a climbing frame.  

I felt so alive as I swung up high, staring at the sky, with the sound of the sea and my little cousins laughter.   The sky was bright, the air was clear, and it started to rain. 

 I felt like I was in some peaceful scene in a movie.  You know the shot i mean.  Perfect.  

As the rain came down harder, we left the playground as it was on sand, to go to the green fields on the oposite side of the road.  As it poured down and soaked us through, we ran around like loons playing it, sliding around in the mud and seeing who could get the best mowhawk from our soaking wet hair.  It was so great.  The fact that they wanted to stay out and asked if we could do it again  soon made me feel so great and alive.  Made me realise how much fun being with my little cousins is, all full of wonder and energy and laughter, giggling at the smallest things.  I really thought, why should any one ever have to grow up, when being silly and free like a kid is one of the best feelings in the world?

I then met up with Marina, we went to the bean, first time in a long time, and just caught up on things and laughed and laughed as we sipped our drinks and she made those weird girgling noises only Marina can make lol. It's so great to have her in the front seat of my car again, listening to loud music and laughing as we drive along with the windows fully open and hands sticking out to catch the wind and sky.

Seeing the sun set and silhouette in my wing mirror was the best feeling.. so happy and warm inside, i wanted to take a picture, though it's crystal clear in my mind.  the sky was so pretty.  The moon so big and bright.  

Took my breath away.

Cold Water, a chat with God

Cold, cold water surrounds me now

And all I've got is your hand

Lord, can you hear me now?

Lord, can you hear me now?

Lord, can you hear me now,

Or am I lost?

No one's daughter allow me that

And I can't let go of your hand

Lord, can you hear me now?

Lord, can you hear me now?

Lord, can you hear me now?

or am I lost?

oooo, I love you

Don’t you know I love you

And I always have

Hallelujah

Will you come with me?

Cold, cold water surrounds me now 

cold cold water surrounds me now 

And all I've got is your hand

Lord, can you hear me?

Lord, can you hear me now?

Lord, can you hear me?

Ahh...

Am I lost with you?

Am I lost with you?

Am I lost with you?

yaaaaaaaaaay!!  MARINA!! :3

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

A night to hold on to forever