Cool Bananas

I Don't See A Huge Pile Of  beans  In New York, Do You? 

 

Helen Saturdays

Details In The Fabric

Calm down 
Deep breaths 
And get yourself dressed instead 
Of running around 
And pulling all your threads and 
Breaking yourself up 

If it's a broken part, replace it 
If it's a broken arm then brace it 
If it's a broken heart then face it 

And hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your own name 
And go your own way 
And everything will be fine 

Hang on 
Help is on the way 
Stay strong 
I'm doing everything 

Hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
And everything, everything will be fine 
Everything 

Are the details in the fabric 
Are the things that make you panic 
Are your thoughts results of static cling? 

Are the things that make you blow 
Hell no reason go on and scream 
If you're shocked it's just the fault 
Of faulty manufacturing 

Everything will be fine 
Everything in no time at all 
Everything 

Hold your own 
Know your name 
Go your own way 

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own) 
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name) 
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way) 

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own) 
Are the things that make you panic (Know your name) 
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine? (Go your own way) 

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own) 
Hell no reason go on and scream (Know your name) 
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way) 
Of faulty manufacturing 

Everything will be fine 
Everything in no time at all 
Hearts will hold

A&E

Song of my Summer.

Song of a particular drive.

Song of my today.

Go listen to Goldfrapp's A&E, and I hope it makes you feel like I do inside my tummy...

On a side note, what a real nice and cute word that is, I like it. Tummy.. hehe :)

It's a blue, bright blue Saturday, hey hey
And the pain's starting to slip away, hey hey

I'm in a backless dress on a pastel ward 

That's shining
Think I want you still
But there may be pills at work

Do you really wanna know how I was dancing on the floor?
I was trying to phone you as I'm crawling out the door
I'm amazed at you, the things you say and that you don't do
Why don't you ring?

I was feeling lonely, feeling blue
Feeling like I needed you
Like I'm walking up surrounded by me
A&E

It's a blue, bright blue Saturday, hey hey
And the pain's starting to slip away, hey hey

I'm in a backless dress on a pastel ward 

That's shining
They gotta watch you still
But there may be pills at work

How did I get to accident and emergency?
All I wanted was you to take me out high
And I was feeling lonely, feeling blue
Feeling like I needed you
Like I hoped you'd call and hoped you'd seek me
A&E

Please, Sir, What Do I Do With My Willy?

Sitting in my engraving lecture last night, I look around and notice that, once again, I am the only one in the room without a willy (but not how ever the only one with boobs lol).

This was the same as in the morning's composition lecture, where the topic was page 3 girls and teenage boy fantasies in the 80s (and now seeing as it was a whole room of boys)... which made me feel quite red faced and very... singled out... lol.  We ended up discussing page 3, big boobed girls and sex for quite a while...  The lecture was about sampling and copy right issues, talking about the group called KLF who don't believe in copyright laws and mixed together a Samantha Fox track (page three girl who had a pop hit) with shocking AIDS adverts that used to be shown straight after top of the pops in the 80s (when my lecturer was growing up).  So saying that the message from TV and media to these teen boys, was go think lustful thoughts and have lots of sex, and then the message straight after would be from the government saying if you do have lustful thoughts and have lots of sex, you'll get AIDS, and so confusing all these lads as to what to do with their willies.

It will be great to get away from here for a couple of days after such an eventful weekend.  I can't wait to spend crazy time with Helen and just chill and be myself :)

On a completely different note, my hormones are f%@ked. lol.

Blob Blah.

I wonder how many of you I can get to yawn, and dance :P

Happy Valentine's Day

xx Freddie Loves You. xx

Traa Laa :)

No don't you worry,

About a thing,

'Cause every little thing

Is gonna be alright 

:)

Octavia

My throat feels a bit elongated this morning lol

Last night I attempted to write an a cappella, which didn't work as I got frustrated and hated what I was coming up with.  I then wrote a short string section part randomly, which I hated too.  So instead I decided to see how much my voice has improved range wise and decided to do a vocal exercise by seeing how many parts of a choir I could cover.  

I sang about five octaves. 

I went from an A sharp two octaves below middle C to an A sharp two octaves above middle C lol. I might have got that wrong, but if I include the A sharp in the octave of C as the same octave, it's two A sharps above that note.  So yeah, 5 octaves :)

The recording doesn't sound particularly nice, but still, I got there with no auto tune and I've never been able to sing that high before hehe! I just feel sorry for my house mates having to listen to me practically scream ten times into the microphone hahaha.  Oh well, most of them were in the distant kitchen.

I had no voice for about half an hour after a loud CRACK occurred in my throat, which was a very odd sensation.  But after lots of honey it seemed to crawl back a little bit :)

Yay!

I Miss U2

Two of my uni friends have just written a very U2 type track.  It makes me smile and makes me feel like I'm being lifted and makes me want to stare at the sky with wide eyes, even as they dry up and start to stream... makes me want to run around and find things under rocks and discover a new type of cloud, because hardly anyone ever looks up enough.  Very much like some very wise words I heard today make feel... To see you nice :)

Sleep well y'all, Freddie loves you xx

Finally!!

The sunday video has come to you in two parts. I had to cut it down from 5 mins to 4, and it still wouldn't upload. Please watch both one after the other as if it were one video to make sense of it!! Enjoy and please leave comments!!!

Part One



Part Two

Never Hit A Jelly Fish With A Spade.

I've been laughing my guts up this morning, from reading, yes reading (lol) this book, entitled as above, that I was given just before uni.  I read most of it ages ago, but have decided to read the final chapters, and perhaps start again as it's so funny.

Man, I've only read three chapters, which are each about 2 pages long, but are so damn funny and leave me wondering if any of it is true.  It is a "how to..." book, with interesting what might be facts, yet are put in such a way if you didn't laugh there'd be something seriously wrong with you. lol!  The chapters I've read this morning are entitled "how to... be a student", "how to... attract men" and "how to... be good in bed", as the final chapter of the book is categorized "Men and Women."

A quote from the how to be good in bed is as follows:  "Everyone has their favourite position in love making.  For most men, it is woman on top.  For most women it is woman on her side under duvet with man in airing cupboard hanging out the laundry." 

I highly recommend the read if you ever want to laugh as much as I have this morning.  hahaha

One Tie-red Fredster.

I've accumulated about 5 hours sleep in the last two days and I feel as if my brain is about to fall out!

Our time table has changed, so mondays now bring us the delights of 6 hours non stop lectures, 1 till 7, followed by another 6 hours of lectures on tuesdays, but at least with a lunch break.  Urgh.  Drained.  There's only so much a person can take of Sibelius being drilled over and over and over again into your brain lol

I've cut my sunday video down from 5 mins to 4, so hopefully the program will stop being g-h-a-y and I will upload it again tomorrow (for the billionth time)!

I bid you all good night, as I'm about to collapse haha :)

sorry dudes, no video.

tried ALL f-ing day to upload it.

program being L.A.M.E.

Aye, Captain.

Watching Star Trek this evening, and I find myself getting asked why I'm talking to the characters...  

I got asked the same question after I answered some questions that the main characters of Big Fish were asking... I didn't realise I was doing this until I got asked what the hell I was doing by my friends...

meh. lol

Mr. Shnowski

All lectures cancelled again today

The snow came down thick and fast this morning, covering yet another layer of snow and ice.

Which is all great and awesome, but it also meant I could have been at home or visiting one of my friends for a whole week!  but meh, I've composed, worked and had awesome snow ball fights with friends here and gained many bruises (including a huge one on my ass, where I slipped on the ice walking over to Alex's house and landed on my coccyx lol)...

But yay!! more snow ball fights today me thinks, and perhaps I shal get round to building a snowsomeoneelse today lol :)

have fun dudes 

Yay again!

Yay!

This morning I have woken up to a freshly laid dusting of snow :)

So pretty as I trudged across this morning, the only footsteps in the snow being mine.

Not as much as the other day, but plenty there for more sledging on oven doors (lol) and snow-Helen making (as pictured below)

Distance

What an awesome day!

I've only moved off this chair to cook or have a loo break... how is that awesome you might say?

Because I've been composing ALL day!

Such beautiful words that were so inspiring...  and make me smile.

Composing on the left hand side is something I miss beyond words, but today, I felt that little bit closer to home.

With great news of socks that are still on fire...

I go to bed a happy Freddie :)

Good Old Photobooth

The free-er of boredom for restless minds lol  :D

Uh Oh. Freddie's Been Thinking.

I have just watched a film named “Into the Wild”.  And like most films I watch and listen to, it made me think.  Life, breathing, existence, love… happiness.

And like after most films I watch that make me think, I become so much more self aware.  Time seems to move on that little bit slower, breathing becomes that little bit louder, my heart beat, blinking, every movement.  I don’t know why.  

Perhaps that’s the thing.  Not so long ago, perhaps a week or two, I was asked quite seriously what I wanted in life, apart from my dream career as film composer extraordinaire... 

And I answered, a family, at least two children before I am thirty. I’ve always thought of having four children.  Three boys and one girl.  Or perhaps two children.  Boys, girls, one of each? Why, I even know my four favourite names.

 Many a time I have told friends these names, and they have either laughed, or told me my children will get bullied, how can I be so selfish?

 Wow.  What a response right?  Why, would I, a girl who names her self after a man with a bushy moustache, listen to the crowd and give my children your bog standard names that I don’t like?  That I will regret calling them? 

The way I see it, if you have but one child, you are blessed, for this is your creation.  Your very being, shown in them, and you only have one chance to name them.  Perhaps they’ll love their name, perhaps they'll hate it.  perhaps they'll change it.  I know that perhaps my mum’s heart leaps with disappointment every time I introduce myself to someone new as Freddie.  But I will always be Victoria, the one with the dark brown eyes who looks upon the world with wonder.

And I love my name.  Victoria.  One with meaning. 

 And that is why I think it is important to give your children the names you yourself love.  Because that way, they will have meaning, and the children that laugh at the names of others, are the one’s who should be laughed at for being so petty and pathetic.

This brings me onto fear.  Don’t ask my how, it just does.  I’m not talking about fear of a person or object, or heights and such likes.  

But fear of a sense.  One of the five... or is it six?  How do you overcome such a thing?  I once got asked in a group discussion in a gcse lesson what my greatest fear was.  I said I didn’t know.  But I lied.  

The response to my answer was, “Victoria the invincible, afraid of nothing”.  But that sentence, is not me at all.  I am afraid of many things. 

 My greatest fear being of a sense.  One that is with me all the time.  Perhaps one day I will meet the person who will make me forget about that fear.  It seems that I have recently discovered that my happiness is dependent on the happiness of my friends. 

 There was a line in the film where it read,

“happiness is best when shared.”

Is that the same with every one?  I don’t know.  Perhaps my happiness is not like that at all.  Watching that film has made me feel so small.  

So wrapped up in blankets and sheltered from the storms.  So caught up in society and its monotonous rules.  Take the easy, safe route, work in a bank, shut yourself in an office and never see the light of day again.  But what happens if I want more?

  What happens if I actually want to live the life I want?  Not what any body else wants for me, but what I, and only I want?  Am I allowed?  Is it right that I follow my heart and not my head?  But then, even if I follow my head, it is so full of music and dreams that I would surely end up in the right place anyway…?  

This then got me on to thinking what my favourite piece of music is.  And again, don’t ask me why.  My actual train of thought was much more discombobulating that this.  And, if I were to say a song name, it would be Stars.  

But alas, the one piece of music that jumped out of my musical pit in the back parts of my brain, shouting loudly and waving madly, was the track I like to call Rain, Rain, Rain…  Just a simple loop of the opening of ELO’s Standing in the Rain.  But I close my eyes.  

And I just don’t know who, what or where I am any more.  Perfect.  Meaning.  Care.  Love.

Memories can be so comforting, can’t they?  I mean, not dwelling, but the kind of memories that just pop up from nowhere, when you’re not even doing anything to remind you of that particular sentence that leaked out of a friends mouth so many years ago that made you laugh so heartily, and still does.  Amazing, huh?

I’ll tell you what else is amazing.  The fact that I am very much an outdoors kinda girl.  

Growing up with parents who work outdoors all the time, helping my dad move plants and do small jobs as a little girl growing up on a garden centre, full of adventure, creepy crawlies to be found, trees to climb up, running around wildly and building up my wonderful habit of being totally accident prone.  

Yet, here I am, dreaming of an existence inside a studio, writing music… Music.  A kind of outdoors with infinite freedom, no boundaries or rules, made especially for minds too big to fit nicely inside of skulls.  With all the raw emotions, and adventure.  

All the creepy crawlies found inside the sound of a slow moving bassoon or fast moving piccolo flute.  The clouds stretching vastly across a chamber string section.  The sea crashing against rocks in cymbals, snow or rain falling gently or heavy as ever in the beautiful sound of a celesta or piano.  Such freedom.  Such sorrow.  Such beauty.  Such fear.  Such emotion.

And I wouldn’t trade this life inside my head, for anything. 

FAT FUM. Been putting it in too many pies.

My thumb is now fatter than it was last night, and I can't move it any more.  Uh oh.  Hopefully it's just bruised :P   damn sledging!  Perhaps I should get it checked out today.  We don't actually have a hospital any where near by in hatfield. LOL.  I do believe it's in the next town which is 15 mins up the road in a taxi.  Or something like that.  And the busses aren't running.  And the doctor can't get to work.  Meh lol

SNOOOOOWW!!!

It just keeps on snowing! Supposed to have ten inches by tomorrow! yaaaay!!! Here's us sledging with bin bags

SNOOOOOW DAY!!!!

ALL LECTURES CANCELLED!! 

WHEEEEEE!!! 

I just wish for others to be here with me

Shock Horror!

Ok... what an odd composing week it has been...

A reggae track, and dance track.. and now....  

dun dun DUNNN!!!

A Hip hop.. yes, you read right, a HIP - HOP track. LOL.  How un-Freddie like... I hate hip hop... I've even put in the little annoying popping noises that eat away at your brains...

Uh oh.  lol. 

Hyper-Marché