Monday 12 May 2008

Oh, Jealousy, Look At Me Now

Attack of the Green Eyed monster.

The other day, it was my best friend's 18th birthday party. We were all around her kitchen table in high spirits, eating sushi (yum). When one of our friends shouted out something she had heard being said at a party earlier that week, about me. *wow, that hurt*. Silence. Every person in the room, I'm sure, felt that stab, knew exactly how those few words had hurt me. Badly. Very badly. It was one of those moments where I just felt like the ground should eat me up, there and then.

The wave of hurt, turning into panic, turning into anger at the person who had origonally said these few words, was tremendous. I managed to control myself, it was my best friend's party after all, and I wasn't going to let a comment like that ruin the evening for her. We had a great time that night, making sure I gave myself temporary amnesia. (on a note, it wasn't my friend who said it at the other party, it was someone else, who possesses two faces.)

I'm not going to say the person's name, or in fact what they said that has hurt me so much. Because it struck me just how pathetic it really is. I wasn't there to witness it being said, but I'm sure it would have been one of those moments where the comment just slid out of their mouth... but I also doubt that they regret saying it. Which, in my eyes, makes it worse. Perhaps they have more than two faces.

I saw this person the day after I was told what they had said, and I chose not to confront them. But it did amaze me how sweet and lovely they were to me.

Jealousy. That's all it comes down to really.

2 comments:

Little Red Belly Dancer said...

Some people are just really pathetic, trying to make stuff like that up just because you're better at something than them. She really is jealous of you.

Marina said...

One day you'll be standing before a sea filled with stars, holding a gold man in your hands and you won't say 'look at me now, whore' because she won't even be special enough to remember.