Zip Tour

As the final week of lessons at Beaulieu Convent School for Girls comes to a near closing, I thought I'd take you on a whistle-stop tour of my school years, along with a few memories I will treasure for ever.

I started Nursery school at the age of four, being vastly under the average size, seeing as I was very premature and had not yet caught up. I went to Nick-Nack-Paddy-Wack nursery, where a hall and a little church called St. Joseph's used to stand. I don't really have any memories of this place, but there's lots of family videos of parties and stuff I had there, with all my little friends (many of who are still good friends to me) playing games like "What's the time Mr. Wolf". I always seemed to be the crazy loud mouth wolf that would run and literally jump on people. Does that surprise you?

I then went on to St. Clement's primary school, from reception to year 4. I was apparently the only kid that wasn't crying, clinging onto their mummy or daddy for dear life. I stomped into the school eager to meet new people, loud mouthed and ready to learn. Perhaps my deep love of school started that exact day. I hold one memory from this school so vivid I can see it now. We were playing football in the field when I was in year 3. I kicked the ball, and someone tripped over my leg and they shouted "SHIT!" at the top of their voice. And I got the blame. It was also from a teacher who I really didn't like. LOL. My favourite teacher was the one that everybody else hated. Mrs Le Marquand. She was the kinda teacher who you didn't mess with. Abide by her rules and she'd love you and look after you. My best friend was called Kelsi, and we were the year's tom-boys. She had a black leather jacket and flowing red hair that she tied in a plait that reached her bottom. I was the one who loved hats and dungarees, and we used to roll in the mud. I fell into childhood love with two boys at that school. One was called John, the year's hot boy that every girl fancied, and another guy called Jamie. He was in the year above, and we held hands in the joint classes that they called year 4/5 (there weren't enough kids in each year group so they joined the two years together). He later became the reason why I left that school, and onto the new horizons of Beaulieu.

And so, I moved to Beaulieu in year 5. I remember walking around the school with my parents, feeling slightly icky. An all girl's school filled with all girls. I was the definition of a tom-boy in those days, and I HATED girls. But I did recognise the likes of Grace from swimming, so it wasn't all bad. I was shown round the school by a rather scary girl named Hannah Santos-Costa. I quickly realised that my friendship with her would be the kind of "hello how are you?" relationship, and then became friends with a girl named Charlotte McCann. God, was she funny. I remember once when I did the most putrid "sea-side" fart in year six that stank the whole room out. She made sure it was spread round the school. I don't think I ever stopped laughing since. It was one of the funniest things and one of my fondest memories of primary school! I also met three girls, who were much more shy and reserved than the crazy girl called Charlotte McCann. These girls were called Claire Bonjour, Rachel McCue and Rachel Genee. We used to play 40 40 round the stinky bin that still lives at the bottom of the playground. The best hiding place proved to be sitting cross-legged in front of the bin. No one ever looked right in front of their eyes. Laura Pickersgill also became a close friend, and we were a trio. Charlotte, Victoria and Laura. Another fond memory of primary school was when I came hurtling down the step and straight into the wooden door. I had a lump the size of a tennis ball throbbing out of my skull. Mrs James to the rescue! I was the cross-country champion in primary school, and so was loved by Miss. White, and everybody knew it too, which is now slightly embarrassing. Mrs. Charlton was one of the first teachers to scar my mind when she gave a gruesome explanation on the application of a tampon. But I also hold fond memories of our many artistic and fascinating projects we did with her. I was also intrigued with the secondary school music teacher called Mr. Saunter that took our music lessons in year six. My first memory of those lessons was when he asked Charlotte Balingall in front of the whole class whether she fancied him. "NO!" she exclaimed as she went bright red. "So stop looking at me in that loving way then" he replied. I pissed myself laughing with the rest of the class. Ah, yes, Charlotte Balingall. There was also the Dildo episode in year six. Charlotte held a grudge against me for some reason, and thought it would be a good idea to tell all the teachers that I had hid a dildo in her bag at school. "What the hell is a dildo?!" And so to the head teacher's office, being questioned about something I'd never heard before in my life. What an experience. I had the pleasure of learning what an adult sex toy was in year six... *cough* Moving swiftly on...

And so, after completing the first lot of scary exams, we moved on to the scary new world that they liked to call "Secondary School".

If I was to write down everything I remember and hold dear about this school, we'd be here forever. So I'm gonna start in year ten. The year that I'd met my future best friends. It all started in RS lessons with Mrs. Matthews. I feel very sorry for her looking back now. A red-headed girl (or auburn as she insists) called Helen and a brunette called Rose-Marie sat in front of me and a girl named Hayley. We discovered that we went together very well. Helen as always was as loud mouthed as I was, Hayley was the quiet one who was secretly evil, and took pleasure in tormenting me, which always ended in rolling on the floor laughter. Rose-Marie was the annoying girl that liked to throw things across the room. And so, the friendships began. Maths was when I met that wierd Spanish girl named Marina Bas. Scarily vicious: the kinda shmegal character that would sit there laughing with an eye twitch. We sat on a desk that held four. Me, Hayley, Helen and Marina opposite. Poor Mr. Shaw, that's all I can say. Oh, and at this point in time I hated that girl name Tori Morel Orchard. heh.

I had a hefty battle with myself, deciding my GCSE choices. Music or drama or geography. Well, my favourite teacher at this point was the red-headed man I met in year six. Funny, witty and slightly scary. So what the hell, I won't be good enough but I'll take it anyway. So, after much thought and bravery, I ended up in a music class filled with geniuses. That's where I met mother hen =) Methini was grade a billion at every instrument and so was Eimear and Jennah. Uh oh. But I soon realised that it was a good choice! My other option was fine art. Mrs. Robson lived in her attick with her bright red hair and glasses on the end of her nose. She was the best art teacher, bar Mr. Kowzan, as she was always so open minded, giving her opinions, but not expecting you to follow them adamantly, like other did. I enjoyed art so much, I even did an extra topic to add to my GCSE work! (what a geek) But then, it was a topic on Queen *cough*...

My fondest memory of year eleven was the lunch times spent in Mr. Whitehead's form. Crammed round a single desk, there were about 12 of us in our group. The rudest game of scrabble you will ever see appeared on that table in a game between me and Helen. Oh how I wish I took a picture! French lessons with Helen were the best, we just cheated in exams and spelling tests all the time, and never listened. Then came the time for choosing A Level subjects. The end of school still seemed a million miles away back then. Sheesh it's gone quick. I ended up choosing Music Technology, as music was my clear favourite subject, English, because I was quite good at it and loved the teachers, Mr. Whitehead and Mr. Tully, in my opinion a perfect combination. I also chose Philosophy and Ethics (the bain of my life) even though I'm not religious, I just wanted to argue, but instead I got the infamous "*nod* Yeah. *nod*" from Mr. Migallo. Oh, and I also chose physics. Lord knows why.

And so, onto year 12! No more checked skirt the length of my chemistry teacher's sweat patches. Only four subjects to take, and THANK GOD, no more french. *phew* . We sat in the corner of the room, right hand side. I found a chair right in the corner where I could sleep and put my feet up. Damn, are the chairs uncomfortable! It was sad at first, to lose my then best friend, Roger, to JCG. But here's where I met my true friends, all who I love dearly. Alex did English, a kind, witty girl, who, in my opinion, is the sense of the group ( and the coolness of the group). Tori did physics, I moved very swiftly from hating to loving the girl. We giggled and giggled and giggled in those lessons. The two girls in a pit full of A grade boffins. So, with our group now completed, there was me, Alex, Tori, Methini, Marina, Helen, Cecil, Claire and Chloe. Team Marmite. Year 12 proved to be one of the best years so far. Year 13 was better. Introducing Louise!

And so, I dropped Physics after my big fat D grade. English still remains to be one of my favourite subjects ever. Our group seems so close, we laugh and joke with Mr. W and we get all our work done in high spirits and random stories. I will miss Mr. W's spontaneous attacks that make me cry with laughter. I will miss Mr. Tully's fantastic ability to talk about sex and make me laugh beyond reason. LOL. My greatest memory of English lessons will be the lesson where we got split into team A and B... Alpha and Beta... Anus and Boobies. hahahahaha, one of my funniest lessons ever! I'm sad to say that I really wont miss RS lessons, although I will miss the face that Mr. Burke pulls when he's pleased with himself, and I guess I'll secretly miss Mr. Migallo's "*nod* yeah *nod*". Now onto music tech... This year has been the best of my life by far. Days spent in the studio composing Pin Cushion Queens and dodgy sounding samples over my Escape composition. I laughed so much in that room, and have been given opportunities that I never thought possible. Ross has entertained me for hours, with his jokes and altogether laid back and funny personality. Louisa singing her lungs out and giggling away in the corner at Ross' jokes. I will miss the court-yard, where I spent years as a statue and watched Mr. S dance around the pipes in a tutu. Music Technology A-Level... my best class ever.

And so, as my final music tech lesson draws closer (tomorrow lessons three and four), I shed a few tears and look forward to the blindingly bright future that this school and all its people have laid down the road for, before my awaiting, converse-clad feet.

Fair well dear Beaulieu Convent School, I owe you my life.